Ever wondered why PSV conductors, popularly known as ‘condi’ or ‘makanga’ are so different depending on the vehicle you board? Some appear too good while others do not care at all about their customers. For this calibre, the only business they have with a passenger is money changing hands, period. Well, according to Matatu owners Association (MOA), matatu conductors can be categorized in six unique groups.
1. The Bully: This type of conductor will hull insults at you if you try to bargain with him on transport cost. If you want peace with this guy, avoid breaking simple rules like saying ‘dere nashukia hapo’(driver, I’m alighting there) in his matatu or else you will understand the meaning of public torture.
2. Assistant tout: This one collects travellers from the stage and directs them to the vehicle. Since they are paid according to the number of customers they have garnered, they convince you with extremely low prices just to get you in that matatu only for you to find a different price once the vehicle leaves.
3. Ghost Conductor: The worst of all types of conductors in a matatu. Let’s take that your fare is about Ksh 200 to Embu town, but the only money you have is a thousand bob. So you decide to give this conductor the note but few minutes later he alights at the next stage as a passenger! Worse if you were asleep.
4. Sluggish Conductor: This conductor will convince you that the vehicle is about to depart and the next two hours you are still in the same matatu in the same stage. He is the same conductor whose matatu will be picking passengers at every stop even if the vehicle is already full!
5. Matatu Pirate: A pirate refers to a kind of a thief who steals from you “honestly”. Matatu pirate is the kind of conductor who will receive your fare and later deny that you gave him. He will threaten to drop you on the road half way to your destination.
6. Inflation Conductor: Matatu inflation is the sudden increase in transport fare between time of boarding a vehicle and a few minutes after departure. The conductor will tell you that the cost of transport from Pipeline to the CBD is Ksh50 but the moment the vehicle gets to Jogoo Road, the price shoots up to Ksh70.
So, next time you board a matatu, one word from the conductor would be enough to let you know his type and decide whether or not to board his matatu. They mean business!
