[dropcap]W[/dropcap]e get into relationships to connect. The danger of connecting is that we can lose ourselves in the process. Remember we cannot control our partners; we can only control ourselves. Let us evaluate our personal relationship principles, these are the values that will guide us in having productive and healthy connections.
1. Own the Relationship: Ownership means that I have the power to determine the quality of my relationships. This is done by having control over the attitudes, emotions, perspectives and expectations I bring into the relationship. Owning your relationship requires that you accept responsibility for creating your own experiences and not leave the responsibility to your partner.
2. Accept the Risk of Vulnerability: Sometimes it is difficult to open yourself to a partner that has hurt you or one that you cannot trust, but remember that without vulnerability you cannot have intimacy. Risk to open yourself up and resolve to trust yourself to handle whatever your partner may do concerning the relationship.
3. Accept your Partner: Everyone fears rejection and everyone wants to be accepted. We always lean towards the ones that accept us and we fight and resist those that reject us. When you accept your partner, your focus shifts to your partner’s assets and qualities. When you refocus and practice acceptance, your level of tolerance and understanding greatly increases.
4. Resolve to be a Friend: Friendship is a foundational value that seems to disappear overtime. As friends you did not look at each other suspiciously or overthink what the other said. Instead there was a safe naivety that made you enjoy each other’s company, daily you did little things together, you took interest in what the other person was doing without judging because he or she was your friend.
5. Be Happy Rather Than Right: Would you rather be right or happy? Some of the convictions you have in your relationship might be irrefutably correct, but holding on to them may cause irreversible damage. There are moments that you need to sacrifice your position for your peace. Let arguments go, move from your hard-line stance that you may be happy in your relationship.