Kenyan Women Care More About the Good Life Than Family

A new study by Consumer Insight shows our women love money, good jobs, nice houses and quality education than having a good family. On a priority list, the family actually comes last.

No wonder common-law unions, popularly known as “come-we-stay”, are the happiest for women, according to the survey published in the Saturday Nation, which reveals a crisis in marriages in Kenya as the pressure of modern life takes its toll.

The study interviewed 1,300 women in Nairobi, Mombasa, Nyeri, Kisumu and Eldoret found that those in religious marriages are never live happily ever after.

About 67% of those polled in “come-we-stay” arrangements reported marital bliss, compared to only 59% of those who had religious weddings.

The second happiest category, at 65%, are those who opted for customary law marriages, followed by those who wedded at the Attorney-General’s chambers.

The study shows happiness in church marriages has been going down over the years, with 45% of respondents in loosely knit marriages reporting happiness and only 43% for the church-wedded.

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The findings also reveal that the Kenyan man is now more than ever likely to meet a woman who proposes to him, as 20% of those polled said they had no problem seeking a man’s hand in marriage.

This shows there’s is little or no difference between married and cohabiting couples, and couples who wish to finance lavish weddings will start thinking twice before signing the cheques.

Turns out it isn’t the institution of marriage that determines a couple’s happiness, but the quality of the relationship itself.

“As long as a couple are committed to one another, have good relationship skills and treat each other well, both types of marriages can work equally well,” says relationship expert Chris Hart.

Kenyatta University sociologist Bernard Munyao Muya says many church-wedded couples are unhappy because the churches are still stuck in the rigid concept of marriage keeping you together till death do you part.

“These church faithful will stay in an unhappy marriage because they have been taught that there isn’t another option.”

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