IN HER WORDS

Violence that Rocks Our Homes

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domestic violence in Kenya
It is ingrained in children that the only way to solve an argument with your spouse is shouting or spoiling for a fight. [ Photo / Nairobinews ]
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There is one thing that should at least make us all proud as citizens. But being Kenyan, our lives are full of sadness and complaints. The only thing we are proud of or are happy about is the chance to be alive.

And even that is not something we look forward to since every waking moment is a struggle to survive. We have become a complaining nation. But is this complaining or stating a fact about life?

Where Did We Go Wrong?

There are so many worrying traits among us as a nation. There are so many things that are very wrong about us. The traits that are cropping up even among the young people are unnerving and worrying to the core.

Recent incidents where the young are even killing each other in the name of love are the most shocking of all. A young person of 15 years killed her boyfriend of 19 years for cheating on her! What does such a young mind know about love?

Parents are all over the place worried and asking where these kids learned this kind of behavior from. But the answer is simple and clear. Parents have failed their kids and the young generation. The parents are all over the place fighting and killing each other in front of these kids.

One thing about kids of this age is that they are very observant and keen when it comes to matters that concern adulthood.They have their ears wide open and listening and ready to copy. So from where did a young girl learn what being cheated on is? The adults we have are busy cheating and committing promiscuity. That is where these kids are learning from.

The Source

 The estates and plots we live in have become a war zone at night. It’s like an arena for WWE championships. The shouting matches are on another level. Women who have no respect for their husbands shout at the highest pitch for everyone to hear. But the most amusing thing is that a single shout will be the curtain-raiser for other self-decrementing women in the plot.

As if it is a war cry, they will give confidence to the other women who are similar in behaviour to begin their shouting. While all this is happening, the little kids will be busy listening because there is a disruption in the air. Those that were busy studying will put their books aside and pay a listening ear to all the shenanigans going on in the area.

So, as kids, it is ingrained in them that the only way to solve an argument with your spouse is by shouting or spoiling for a fight.

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These kids will be inclined to believe that it is okay to be violent to your partner if he or she is not listening to you. That problem solving should involve violence. As parents why do we think it is okay to live that kind of life yet when our kids copy it we pretend to be worried and perturbed?

 You can blame westernization, the movies and music from western countries. But in as much as that is also true, we should ask ourselves what kind of example we are setting for them.

Being role models

If we are a bad example to the young generation yet we are their guardians, what do we expect them to copy? As parents we ought to live a life that is presentable and worth being emulated. We should aim to be good examples.

We shouldn’t live a destructive life that is shameful when we see our kids relive it. As adults, we should destine to be a good example in all we do. In all we do, let us be thoughtful and considerate of the kind of impact our lives will have on the young generation.

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Written by
DORRIS KYALO -

Dorris Kyalo, a Bachelor of Commerce (Finance Major) student, is currently pursuing CPA. Email: [email protected]  

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