DESIRES OF LIFE
Ever wanted something so much in life yet at the back of your mind you know it is not right for you? Ever desired someone so much but you are afraid of messing your relationship with him or her?
When I was young, I would watch soap operas and would hear phrases like ‘I love you too much to be with you” or ‘I love you so much that I cannot let myself be with you”.
These are words that, then, never made sense in my confused little mind. I never understood what it meant but now, there have never been truer words spoken.
AFRAID TO MESS UP
‘You are too good for me to be with you”. This is something that I completely relate with and most people do. Ever had that one true male/female friend who is your ‘ride or die’ and want to always have in your life? But then you consider being in a relationship with them as risking your friendship with them?
Sometimes you have to weigh your options. If you get into a relationship with them, and it doesn’t work out, it means you will never talk again. You will have sown seeds of hatred among yourselves.You will have bad blood between the two of you, perhaps for the rest of your lives.
It is easy to believe that in just remaining friends, you never have any bad blood between you.You will forever be there for each other. That is why you find a man/woman who has that one woman/man who they are completely tight with. That ends up being a bone of contention between husband and wife.
Similarly for women who have a very tight friendship with a man who they are not married to. As humans this is very common and, in most cases, there is nothing we can do to avoid it. There is that one person you click with but they are not your husband or wife.
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Well, they say that you should be best friends with your significant other but there are things that you don’t consider worthy of your partner knowing. Is that not risking your marriage by not being open? We all know that it is just that it is treated chini ya waba’by everyone. These things exist and are a part of our daily lives; we just never talk about it openly.
AS COMMON AS A SORE
These stories are really very common among married couples. Ever heard of people who are married and force or demand their husbands/wives to end certain friendships? Well they exist and are a big threats to couples. In as much as we promise to end them, they can never be terminated. We just play cool and hush them just like sweeping dirt under the carpet but they are as rife as a gun ready to fire.
The people who have such friends are really happy and think of them as their safe haven. Anytime there is a problem they always run to their friends to seek help. Other times you will see a married man with his kids and wife having a good time but the moment they get a call from their ‘ride or die’ female friend they will abandon their chores and almost run mad to get to them.
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In most cases the friendships you have with these people have no limits.Some are booty calls. Others have seen each other at their weakest points – you have seen them ugly cry and be at their worst. You have their most shameful moments at the back of your hand and you know everything they do anytime.
At the same time, you know when they get to their limit and when to come to each other’s aid without prompting. You can even predict what they will do if faced by a certain challenge. That is what it takes to be a ‘ride or die.’
As friends you have done all manner of things together. Getting arrested, getting drunk and even smoking all the illegal drugs you could ever think of at the most hideous hideouts in your locality. These friendships cannot be broken by anything, not even marriage. That is why this is a pain to most married people because they know they exist but cannot do anything about it.
Welcome to the club! Get a drink and raise your glasses and say cheers for we all deserve it! What matters is that we at least get to be there for each other as the ‘ride or die’. Never break those friendships, but make sure you do not engage in anything that would jeopardize your intimate relationships or marriage.
