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Life after death: Coping with the loss of a loved one

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[dropcap]O[/dropcap]nly two things are certain in life – death and taxes. No matter how much you expect death will hit, you can never be fully prepared for it. It at times hit at the worst moments.

Just like in Kenya today, we are currently mourning the deaths of the CS Interior and Government coordination, General Joseph ole Nkaiserry, barely a month to the general elections, Nicholas Biwott ‘The Total Man’, Senator GG Kariuki and, now, Ambassador Bethuel Kiplagat

Grief is a process and hard work, which require patience  just like any other daunting tasks. These are some of the things you can do to cope with the loss of a loved one and regain control

Accept the Reality of the Loss: When someone faces the loss of a loved one, in most cases the first feeling is always denial and disbelief. It is good to understand that the person is dead and will never come back. Achieving acceptance both on intellectual and emotional aspects requires time depending on how close you were with the departed person.

Work Through the Pain of Grief: The grieving personal must allow themselves to go through the feelings of grief or risk delaying the grieving process and become stuck. Irrespective of how much the pain is it must be felt. John Green, in his book The Faults in Our Stars states, says “That’s the thing with pain. It demands to be felt.”

SEE ALSO: Kenya reels under cloud of high profile deaths

If at all you will not be able to go through the  process fully, you might carry it throughout your life that’s why it doesn’t matter what the society demands or says. Just grieve your own way and fully.

Adjust to an Environment where the Deceased is Missing: It is good to recognize the role that the deceased played in the lives of the remaining ones and knowing exactly what is lost. For example, when the man of the family is gone yet he had been the breadwinner to the family and the protector of the family.

It is at this point that you must clearly outline how you will step up to fulfill the gap left by the loved one. This will require you to evaluate the direction you want your life to take, beliefs and the meaning of life without the deceased.

Take Care of Yourself: After all the grieving process, one thing is given; life has to move on. You will to get your life in order, you have to eat and provide for the needs. It is, therefore, necessary to contact the family lawyer, if you had one, and carefully sought the will. It is at this stage where you can have the deceased left properties and resources and own them according to the provisions of the laws of the land.

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